UNASB tips for making holiday meals politically productive
We’ve learned a lot about the conservative mind. Thanksgiving is the Olympics of having more persuasive conversations.
If you can believe it, the holiday season is officially upon us. Up first: Thanksgiving. Dry turkey, creamy mashed potatoes that activate your IBS, and unhinged political chatter are inevitable. If you’re part of UNASB or you are working on applying our motto “Hearts open, ears bleeding” to your everyday life, you’ll be approaching this holiday a bit differently (at least when it comes to the politics talk – can’t save you from the foul menu). Below, our members detail how they plan to apply what they’ve learned this year to make Thanksgiving an opportunity to listen, persuade, and connect.
For people headed into right-leaning households…
I’ve always dreaded parts of Thanksgiving with my family. Being in Utah, a lot of them are deeply conservative, and my step-siblings in particular have strong views on guns, immigration, and everything in between. I’ve even avoided putting my partner, who is an immigrant from Colombia, in the same room as them because I didn’t want to watch those worlds collide. But after being part of UNASB, I’m trying a different approach this year of going in with curiosity instead of defensiveness, recognizing how much people are shaped by the environments (geographic, digital, etc) that they live in. I’m not expecting to change anyone’s mind or even try to, but I’m working on not writing parts of my family off as lost causes. If anything, I’m hoping to make the conversation less of a minefield and more of an opening. -Gabi, Utah
My family is extremely conservative and since graduating college I have had a hard time having honest conversations about politics. Recently, I was interviewing for something that required me to be able to defend my position, not necessarily to be right. When I told them that, and it was reframed from me vs them (right vs wrong) to supporting me (us vs the interview), we ended up having the most honest conversations I’ve had with my family about politics in a long time. I’m looking forward to trying out similar reframing at Thanksgiving! -Will, Illinois
I am going to end up in a house filled with a handful of conservatives. Instead of entering with a combative state of mind, I plan to be curious and lead with questions. I’m going to look for opportunities to challenge their thinking, but with empathy. -Jordan, California
This year, I’m going to be engaging in conversations from a values based discussion rather than a political one. The goal being to focus on what my family members value as individuals rather than the team sport mentality (Democrats vs. Republicans) that these conversations can spiral into. When we act as individuals rather than what political party we vote for, I find that there are many more opportunities for unity. - Nic, Louisiana
Coming from a hyper conservative and moderately religious family in Florida, I’m nervous for the holidays. Generally speaking, the difference this year will be holding more space for others and listening with curiosity. And less of rushing to make a point or preach. The only exception will be for the few who are so hardline that it is best just not to engage about politics at all. - John, Florida
For people headed into left-leaning households…
Most of my family votes democratic and has a lot of opinions, feelings, and complaints (understandably) about what’s going on, but struggles with getting involved . I’m moving back home next month so I’m planning to invite some of my cousins and relatives to join me at local Democratic party meetings. I’ve been trying to approach “hot news take debates” that leave everybody feeling frustrated and tired with things I know people are doing to fight that. My goal is to be the least amount of righteousness possible and instead make it sound cool and fun. -Danielle, California
My family is a “traditional immigrant family liberal”. So for example, if they lived in NYC they would have had a really difficult time choosing between Cuomo and Mamdani (but I’m almost certain I would have been able to persuade them). I plan on going into Thanksgiving to first acknowledge their underlying fears and concerns, really make them feel heard and validate their concerns of public safety, then try to hit them with substance. Mgmt (keeping Tisch on), policy (prioritizing big crime, not low-level > leading to reduction in police force = I still feel safe), facts (crime rates down), and personal anecdotes. -Amanda, New York
My brother hosts a big Friendsgiving every year in LA (almost exclusively liberal or assumed!), I’m planning to bring up UNASB and talk to people about how they’re mobilizing specially going into 2026. Challenge them on the “we’re LA libs who hang out with other LA libs so by our sheer existence we’re doing our part”. -Kelsey, California
My family is very liberal, but I’m planning on talking to them about the value of listening to different perspectives and getting out of the bubble! -Sarah, DC
My Thanksgiving is with progressive queers most/all of who are stuck in the “why are these people voting against their interests they’re wrong” thing, so going to do a meta be curious/ask questions on what they find challenging in learning about the views of their conservative aunt/whoever. -Haley, California